Hideous Art and the Horrible Person

IMG_2254This year, I have found great peace and stress relief in sketching. From my first drawings when I was a toddler (crayons on the wall do count!) through high school and art school. Even the painting classes I taught the officer’s wives in the evenings in the Marines, one lesson I’ve always tried to impart is the healing nature of art. I have spent a few years lately not creating art but instead writing. Only to learn, I need both. In our current kick in the gut political climate, sketching has been very effective in lowering my blood pressure and calming my soul.

I’ve also started sharing, some of my writing friends were not aware of my art background and said kind things about my work. I even stepped out of my comfort zone and joined a few FaceBook watercolor pages. I even posted a few things. The last thing I posted was my blue fairy -I had been asked about my process and shared her because I had several images showing the process. I was honest about my thoughts. I call this type of work a meditation as it is so calming doing these dots and being mindful on an elemental level. After watching a few video interviews with Australian indigenous artists, I have been thinking of dream states while drawing.

Anyway, I explained that I had started with the eye and then added my mother’s nose but decided she wasn’t going to get a chin. I have a weak chin, several of my friends have weak chins, we’ve never desired a chin implant but I wanted to explore Wabi Sabi from the view of a toss of the genetic dice ‘you get no chin’ but let’s see you as beautiful anyway…


Image my gobsmacked-surprise to find this comment posted:

Hideous. It seems you are just trying to mock people with weak chins, which are real and a serious facial deformity.
You really are being extemely cruel. Or maybe you are just too stupid to realize how cruel this painting is.
Either way it is a terrible painting and you are a horrible person to post this.

Wow! I was kinda stunned -especially since my reason for giving her a weak chin was a very conscious intention to reject the perfect Barbie that has become the norm in art. Not just women but we are taught in art school the basics of drawing the human form -the standard of beauty in male and female – no one says and here is how you draw bucked teeth or a lazy eye.

I considered my answer and fast forwarded in my mind to where that exchange would devolve. I imagined the person who posted the comment and realized I didn’t want to engage. I am too old for this shit. So, I deleted my posts and left the group, I went on to leave the other groups I had joined. Maybe it’s this whole Trump era of hatred that has me backing away from confrontation with unknowns on the Internet.


As a writer, one can not help but try to fill in the blanks and color this person who feels the need to defend the chinless and find cruelty were there is none. Does she have a full and happy life? and just lets off steam attacking others anonymously? Or is she an angry person who can’t afford a chin implant and can’t see her own beauty? Ouch, that was harsh but hey I think I get to be a little harsh since I am not cruel or a horrible person.
But the bottom line is why be an online bully? Especially about art? And yet, I do love that my art created a reaction, maybe not the one I wanted.

I have always been good at drawing well. Some call it talent but I see it as eye-hand coordination. I have never had depth perception -the result of three eye surgeries before I was six years old. I have always had to look carefully and fully at my surroundings, I think that helps me draw them. I love drawing and sketching -it’s poetry to me but using form, color, shapes instead of words and both have rhythm and repetition to add depth.

So, please, if I’ve offended anyone, maybe first reach out and ask why and try to find out the purpose of the art, goal of the artist. Maybe look in the mirror at where your anger is seated.

It’s kind of interesting that if she’d said this about my poetry or prose, I would have felt each arrow deeply, each knife wound acutely. But I have an old rhinoceros hide when it comes to art criticism. A standout gift from art school. My art ego is huge and I have no problem differentiating between sketching, dream meditation drawings and my art.

For now, I’ll just continue on, oblivious to trolls and try to see beauty everywhere -even in the weak-chinned old lady in the mirror.


5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. CrizGazr
    Dec 07, 2018 @ 11:24:00

    Reblogged this on WTFville.


  2. Dottie
    Dec 07, 2018 @ 17:59:58

    So sorry you experienced this vitriol. The response was taken down as quickly as the admins saw it; but we know it was up for about an hour. We hoped you hadn’t seen it yet. The member has been removed from the group. Your fairy, chin and all, was beautiful. You are welcome to come back. We don’t usually have attacks in our group, and on the rare occasion they happen, we act. BTW, I loved the peek at your 4″ book, and so I’ve started following your blog. That should tell you something.


    • CrizGazr
      Dec 08, 2018 @ 09:46:35

      I am sorry to hear the OP was removed but actions have consequences. The vitriol wasn’t the only reason I left, I had to reassess how much time I am spending on social media and not creating! Perhaps one day I’ll reconsider but for now I need to concentrate on my art and writing and the holidays. Best wishes.


  3. Sandy Bruney
    Dec 08, 2018 @ 09:21:29

    I loved your fairy. I agree creative minds need more than one outlet. Ignore those who don’t and never will understand.


    • CrizGazr
      Dec 08, 2018 @ 09:53:43

      Thank you Sandy, ignoring is easy –not responding is hard but it’s easy for things to go horribly wrong on social media! Emoji’s seem so immature but tonal inflection, facial expressions, etc are so critical in conversations. We struggle with this dichotomy as writers -we can’t always write as we’d speak because it can get lost in translation -especially humor. On social media it is so easy for me to speak through my fingers that I have to consider the fact that my facial expressions are missing. I used to want to explain but eventually realized that I was missing the point. Often the vitriol has a purpose unique to the viper. She is speaking to or searching for a like audience -anything the target says will just feed the frenzy. Noe, I think I’ve exceeded my daily metaphors limit! LOL


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