Of Projects and Procrastination

I received a message last Monday morning. It said, “Missed your blog yesterday.”

I had committed a cardinal sin–I had forgotten to post my Sunday blog. In fact, I had forgotten to write it.

My only excuse is that I was immersed in a Project. Yes, Project with a capital P. I painted the living room. Lately it felt cluttered and closed in. The colors were too bright, and there were too many pictures on the walls.

I had made one change already. I saw a clearance on the wide, wooden blinds I’d been coveting but couldn’t afford. Suddenly they were in my price range. I ordered them and spent several days installing them in the three windows that face the front yard. It wasn’t that difficult but  1) I didn’t have the right tools, and 2) I ‘m pretty clueless when it comes to figuring out how things work. But I did manage to do it and that was when I realized they weren’t right for the room as it was.

We had papered one wall and painted the other three a bright aqua (I know, what were we thinking? But that was 20-plus years ago). I chose a soft gray and proceeded to paint. It took me a week because it required two coats of paint to cover the darker color.

The result? The room looks bigger and the new blinds let in the sunshine. I like it.

But my enjoyment is bittersweet. I’ve made a lot of changes in the year since Jim passed away, but this is the biggest by far.  It makes me a little melancholy to know that I’ve erased something we did together and imposed my own stamp on the space we once shared.

On the other hand, I think he would be proud of me for tackling the Project and approve of the results. He always encouraged my Projects. When I decided to remove the brush and trash trees from the yard he bought me a saw and loppers. When I decided to write a book, he bought me a new computer.

When I decided to paint, I had to buy the paint, brushes, and rollers myself. I miss his encouragement and support. Damn, I miss him.

He probably would have reminded me to post my blog.

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