Self-confident or self-deluded?

This business of becoming a plotter is–well, tedious. I can see how it works, but  I’m not used to having to think before I start writing. Usually I start typing and then the thoughts flow from my head to my fingertips.

The other day I was happily writing away when I realized I had a little mix-up in the time line.

Well, okay, a very big mix-up. I finally got out a calendar and figured out what should happen when so the characters don’t meet themselves coming and going. Should have done that before I started, but next time I will know.

All this preparation before you get to the good stuff, sigh.

I did start to wonder why I bother, though. Mid-week I got a rejection. I’m used to that and have developed a thick skin. But this rejection had a comment: “It was okay but not a favorite.”

Talk about damned by faint praise!

I went through the usual self-pity dance of how I should really find some other way to waste my time and why do I bother and no one will ever read my books…

…for about five minutes. Then I got back to work.

So one person didn’t like my book. So what. Maybe someone else will. Maybe someone will love my next book.

But I won’t know unless I finish it and send it out.

I never was an overconfident person. But I don’t think I’m deluding myself, either. I truly believe there is an audience out there who will read what I have to offer, and what’s more, like it.

If I didn’t believe that, I’d be knitting.

An activity that also means having a pattern and following directions.



1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. CristineGzr
    Dec 10, 2013 @ 08:59:08

    I’m glad you’re not knitting Sandy. I hate those condescending notes on rejection letters. When I worked as a temp doing graphic design at S&S I’d hear the angry, overworked, overeducated editorial assistants bragging about ‘mean’ comments they made on rejections. I swore I’d never forget them and they became the face of my rejections. I suppose somehow the system works but I just never understood cruelty for popularity. There is an audience for you, I’m in it 😉 Keep going, the alternative is unthinkable!


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