Second time around

Samuel Johnson once said, “A second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.”

As a  partner in a second marriage that has lasted four times longer than my first, I think I can safely say it is more a triumph of experience over ignorance.

In a second marriage, we have taken off the rose-colored glasses and can see clearly what we have undertaken. We don’t expect our partner to change, because now we know people don’t change, at least in the fundamental ways that affect a relationship. We learn to accept our partner as he is, faults, foibles and all.

We know that “Happy Ever After” comes only with hard work and compromise.

We have learned to forgive.

We accept that our partner is not the  guarantor of our happiness, because happiness comes from within ourselves.

If we can do all that, the second marriage has a greater-than-average chance of success.

We are attending a second marriage this weekend of our youngest son and his fiancee. Their adult and nearly-adult children will attend the ceremony.

I love second chances and doubt I will be dry-eyed.

Maybe that’s why my novels are all about second chances…with a new partner or even with the same one.

Happy Ever After is what it is all about, in fiction or real life.


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